Becoming a man in North Philly

I remember freshman year in college, I was taking my first semester of freshman English. My professor went into a discussion on how the male body is viewed in society. He explained that at times becoming a man was as complex and subtle as the nuances women went through growing up. We used a book in class for the subject written by Susan Bordo. It was my first real exposure to a feminist and how they viewed society. I was shocked at how deeply engrained gender norms were in society and how I could apply it to my own upbringing in North Philly.

I can't speak for the women as I don't come from there perspective in society. I have noticed that growing up in North Philly was fairly similar to everywhere else. Except for the ultra masculine nature of behaviors to the point they spark violence. Just like males from other places in the world there often exists an emphasis on being the ire of as many women as possible. On top of being successful and having the money to flaunt to everyone in the community. Which partially explains the cars with "systems" blasting music and flashy oversized jewelry combined with  "rims" on cars. Want to test my hypothesis? Stare a guy driving one of these cars thugged out to hell and talk to other people around you about him. You may just notice the ego boost he gets from the attention he's getting.

It's important to note that this effectively replaces the stereotype of the "successful, fit man". Instead this is the "bad boy who can show he has money most". If he can intimidate people and make them fear him he gains the respect of both women and peers. If he can drive a nice large flashy car and buy those gold chains he must be rich enough to take care of you. Nevermind the fact he lives in North Philly, he just chooses to live there cuz he's "real". Those guys with loads of girls after them due to their local fame and "badness" got them lots of unwanted kids too. It's really quite an unpleasant cycle that of course has this as a component in it.

I remember as a kid I was quiet as hell but I had a reputation. Anyone that dared try to hurt me ended up getting violently beaten for a few hours. I wasn't known for stopping when someone begged me to do it. People had to come in and remove me from the person trying to push me around in the first place. Not something I'm particularly proud of today, but it kept me safe. I wasn't known for being flashy or breaking the rules so I wasn't popular. Just quiet and unknown for the most part, I did have a few good friends though. I was far from socially inept and could hold me own if I needed to. I just never understood the point of the "show" these guys put on all the time.

I remember this one guy that was probably 1/3rd my size attempted to get me to fight him for days. I suppose he was trying to impress the new girl on the block. I remember one day he kept throwing rocks at me while I ignored him and then out of nowhere I felt something hit my face. I thought it didn't hurt but later noticed streams of blood running down my face. My tooth had been pushed back too (to this day it still is), it was the tooth that got me to run down after him. His amazingly "hard" and ultra masculine personality quickly dissolved when he was being dragged against the floor in tears. His mother came out to scold me and call me a little monster, etc. Which then prompted the boys father to come talk to my parents. As soon as he entered my house he started cursing off my parents as loud as he could so other kids on the block could see how badass he was. He knew he was untouchable in that environment and relished in the show he was putting on.

I wish I was joking when I say that this is far from an isolated example. Hell, take a silly example and look at the ending of 8 mile. The guy gets booed off the stage for faking how hard he was. Distantly relevant but the same mentality is being perpetuated in many of these kids. This is where a program of my design would come in to construct the atmosphere of a successful educated person. I want those kids in the hood to see a guy drive down in an expensive from being successful and educated. I want him to take his family to his house and see all the things he accomplished without selling drugs or violence. I want to use the culture already engrained in that society to restructure it for the better. But look at what college gives you now, debt and a possibility of returning to North Philly while the guy who sold drugs lives in his house secure. The sad fact is that in order for me to change anything in that area I need to become financially secure myself. It's only through money and thus power that you can really have an influence in this country. But as of right now the only way I'll have that kind of money is through the lottery or entrepreneurship after college. Both of which I'll keep trying hard to attain, haven't given up yet. Stubbornness is the one trait from North Philly I haven't and won't get rid of.