The Power of the Church in the Ghetto

I'm going to make this clear and say I'm a scientist and I'm a Biologist. This doesn't make it very likely for me to have any association with religion. In fact I've had a complicated history with the institution since my birth. I was baptized, and raised in a somewhat catholic family. Although pressure to attend any religious ceremony was never enforced once I reached an age where I could say no.

My mother and father worked all day during the 90s and couldn't take care of me until about 5pm. Most places wouldn't take a baby at the time, especially not one as young as me. The Episcopal church took me in, care for me and I stayed there until kindergarten. I got along quite well with the minister and still talk to him to this day. When I was a little older they tried enrolling me in a Catholic Academy. I had a disorder that caused my hands to write very sloppily. The nuns thought I was "retarded" and would constantly beat me with rulers in an attempt to break my will. Eventually I began telling them in first grade that I didn't know what the difference was between the bible and fairy tales. It was an almost  mutual agreement that both my parents and the school would dismiss me. I was transferred to public school and in third grade given an IQ test and launched into a mentally gifted program. Quite a different outcome in both cases.

For most of my life I noticed the church was the center of life in North Philly. Our traditions from Puerto Rico were kept alive there. As was our language and culture in general. It was often a place to go if you couldn't afford an after-school program for your kids or needed help with groceries. They were often far more helpful than the community centers and were a blessing to many. In a place where you have no hope, no aspirations and see so much death and violence it was a welcome haven.

It was after college that I ended up finding out how much of a hazard the church was to the community as well. I decided to help a friend of mine run for district representative. I was paid by the democratic party to run around and hand out flyers. Hell, I thought I may change this neighborhood for the better. I ended up going to a baptist church and finding representative Tony Payton there. He was preaching to the church on how much money he had contributed to the community. Apparently the guy had just gotten out of Community College. He seemed to have ties with the church leaders, possibly financial that allowed him to speak. I noticed he seemed hellbent on turning the "blacks" on the Hispanic community due to their much greater numbers. The issue in the Hunting Park area was that blacks often voted less than the Hispanic community. However, they were in much greater numbers in the area. So he and other representatives pranced around from church to church noting that the "blacks" pay most of the taxes and they should have a voice. They should not let the "Hispanic agenda" dominate their lives. The day of his election a few fights broke out in the baptist churches that hosted the election services. A few blacks would stand at the door and say "we don't want no fuckin spics runnin this place no more".

I noticed that in the Hispanic churches the same thing was occurring. They told us the whites and the blacks were against us that we needed to reclaim our neighborhood. It was always someone educated with money using them as a tool against easily influenced minds. I remember during one meeting for the democratic party candidates I asked someone from city hall if this was even remotely legal. I remember his smile, "Some people are queens, some people kings and most are pawns. It's just a game go with it, these people are so poor and stupid they wont know the difference either way". I didn't even know how to respond and simply sat in silence as the manipulation and lies were tossed around the room.

I don't know if people had forgotten the events of 1964 that shaped North Philadelphia into what it is today. North Philadelphia was a delicate balance of white "undesirables" (IE, Irish, Italian and Jewish) combined with Hispanics and Blacks. There were factories that made  everything from Go-Karts to pantyhose. Many of the factories still stand, although they're now abandoned and no longer used. Some of these factories had elevators for trucks and tunnels that connected directly to train carts. The efficiency and engineering of these buildings in some cases is quite amazing. Sadly most of them still stand in Philadelphia. No one wants to buy them in North Philly and they're too expensive to demolish so there they stand. In the 60's and 70's the "old timers" tell me everyone used to work in them. They used to go on about how "no one was on welfare, we all worked at the factories".

The collapse of the factory industry began after the 50's and spiraled out of control during the 60's. Racial tension became an issue across the country and in Philadelphia exploded. A woman got into an argument with a white and black police officer. A crowd formed and a man that came to help her was arrested. Rumors began to spread in the churches and by word of mouth that two white police officers had beaten a pregnant white woman to death. As a consequence white businesses were destroyed, looted and ransacked. North Philadelphia never recovered as the owners of those businesses never returned. To this day, I know of only one guy, Mike, who still owns a deli in North Philadelphia. His family never left after the riots and today he keeps his store safe by being a friend of everyone in the neighborhood. Along with a shotgun under the counter and handguns in the pockets of all his employees. You'd never know the history behind his store when you walk in. He stands behind the counter with a huge smile on his face greeting everyone who comes in of any race. Best cheesesteaks in the city too. (Had to say it)

The churches have a power to convey messages to the community. As I speak they're used for manipulation and creating situations that are quite delicate. The last thing North Philly needs is another riot. So why not use some money and power to influence church leaders in a good way? Why not make say, a $50,000 donation and have the pastor give a special thanks to the kind men from the University you should all push your kids to go to? Sure it may be morally reprehensible but it's the fastest way to get the community of North Philly to band together and agree on something.. Of course you may have to forget that whole ten commandment thing as they often do. If there's anything people in the ghetto listen to in the end it's god

Becoming a man in North Philly

I remember freshman year in college, I was taking my first semester of freshman English. My professor went into a discussion on how the male body is viewed in society. He explained that at times becoming a man was as complex and subtle as the nuances women went through growing up. We used a book in class for the subject written by Susan Bordo. It was my first real exposure to a feminist and how they viewed society. I was shocked at how deeply engrained gender norms were in society and how I could apply it to my own upbringing in North Philly.

I can't speak for the women as I don't come from there perspective in society. I have noticed that growing up in North Philly was fairly similar to everywhere else. Except for the ultra masculine nature of behaviors to the point they spark violence. Just like males from other places in the world there often exists an emphasis on being the ire of as many women as possible. On top of being successful and having the money to flaunt to everyone in the community. Which partially explains the cars with "systems" blasting music and flashy oversized jewelry combined with  "rims" on cars. Want to test my hypothesis? Stare a guy driving one of these cars thugged out to hell and talk to other people around you about him. You may just notice the ego boost he gets from the attention he's getting.

It's important to note that this effectively replaces the stereotype of the "successful, fit man". Instead this is the "bad boy who can show he has money most". If he can intimidate people and make them fear him he gains the respect of both women and peers. If he can drive a nice large flashy car and buy those gold chains he must be rich enough to take care of you. Nevermind the fact he lives in North Philly, he just chooses to live there cuz he's "real". Those guys with loads of girls after them due to their local fame and "badness" got them lots of unwanted kids too. It's really quite an unpleasant cycle that of course has this as a component in it.

I remember as a kid I was quiet as hell but I had a reputation. Anyone that dared try to hurt me ended up getting violently beaten for a few hours. I wasn't known for stopping when someone begged me to do it. People had to come in and remove me from the person trying to push me around in the first place. Not something I'm particularly proud of today, but it kept me safe. I wasn't known for being flashy or breaking the rules so I wasn't popular. Just quiet and unknown for the most part, I did have a few good friends though. I was far from socially inept and could hold me own if I needed to. I just never understood the point of the "show" these guys put on all the time.

I remember this one guy that was probably 1/3rd my size attempted to get me to fight him for days. I suppose he was trying to impress the new girl on the block. I remember one day he kept throwing rocks at me while I ignored him and then out of nowhere I felt something hit my face. I thought it didn't hurt but later noticed streams of blood running down my face. My tooth had been pushed back too (to this day it still is), it was the tooth that got me to run down after him. His amazingly "hard" and ultra masculine personality quickly dissolved when he was being dragged against the floor in tears. His mother came out to scold me and call me a little monster, etc. Which then prompted the boys father to come talk to my parents. As soon as he entered my house he started cursing off my parents as loud as he could so other kids on the block could see how badass he was. He knew he was untouchable in that environment and relished in the show he was putting on.

I wish I was joking when I say that this is far from an isolated example. Hell, take a silly example and look at the ending of 8 mile. The guy gets booed off the stage for faking how hard he was. Distantly relevant but the same mentality is being perpetuated in many of these kids. This is where a program of my design would come in to construct the atmosphere of a successful educated person. I want those kids in the hood to see a guy drive down in an expensive from being successful and educated. I want him to take his family to his house and see all the things he accomplished without selling drugs or violence. I want to use the culture already engrained in that society to restructure it for the better. But look at what college gives you now, debt and a possibility of returning to North Philly while the guy who sold drugs lives in his house secure. The sad fact is that in order for me to change anything in that area I need to become financially secure myself. It's only through money and thus power that you can really have an influence in this country. But as of right now the only way I'll have that kind of money is through the lottery or entrepreneurship after college. Both of which I'll keep trying hard to attain, haven't given up yet. Stubbornness is the one trait from North Philly I haven't and won't get rid of.

The Lessons Poverty Teaches You

Looks like I broke even this week at $210.95 I'm also thinking of starting some sort of way to make money on the side I'm not sure about yet. I'm also not sure about my living situation this summer and it's a point of concern but I'm hoping I'll find a solution.



I figured I'd take this week to talk about the hot button unemployment rate for graduates of college right now. I hear a lot of websites and articles buzzing with the impending student loan bubble that will pop with thousands unable to pay back their loans. Then I put it into the context of just barely making it into college and the whole thing is quite worrisome. If your sibling is the pride of the family and they just barely graduate from college and end up returning to "the hood" what impression does that give you of college? What happens when  these first generation graduates go back home? If you think it's bad that so few impoverished students make it to college imagine what'll happen when they return. Do you think parents will think its worth the expense or effort? Some call this sort of thing a form of modern slavery intended to keep people poor and incarcerated and I agree to an extent. Part of me doesn't believe that this system is intentionally malicious but instead a product of the development of the country. But there are also good sides to being a "ghetto" kid with college issues.


 In the Latino community at least, the families are closely tied culturally and at the very least your mom or dad will want you back. In some cultures that's true at least. I remember going to Atlantic City when I was 18 with a bunch of the older women from the neighborhood on one of those tour buses that rather shadily departed from the street corner across from the lottery vendor. Pennsylvania prohibited gambling at the time so the only alternative for those with the "itch" was to buy tickets to AC for the day.  I remember on the ride back how happy most people where and the incredibly loud laughing and joking that went on. People would often say "we're poor but man do we know how to have a good time" on those gambling trips. 


 That was a valuable lesson back in those days, we viewed most people around us as equals. We had no class system, no division within our community. In my entire time living there my house was never broken into, our car never robbed nor our possessions stolen on our particular block. The drug dealers didn't appreciate people bothering those who lived in the block they sold on. It kept us safe as long as we stayed within the confines of our narrow street and were home and inside by 7pm. At school we were often told that drug dealers would try to entice us to try drugs so they could keep selling to us and lure us in. This wasn't entirely true in our case given that they care for our safety. If you tried to buy drugs at the corner you could be sure that they would drag your ass home to your mom and tell her what you were doing. They were far more interested in selling pot/coke to suburban kids of the same age who would drive up in their parents cars. To us, seeing the duality of their behavior ingrained a powerful image of "us" vs "them" in our minds. Of course at the same time they were the ones bringing violence to our lives. They were the same ones shooting us when their arguments got out of hand and we were in the way. The drug dealers also threw out any notion of protecting us from drugs as soon as turned 17-19 years old. They considered you a "man" then and worthy of joining a gang or pretty much doing anything you wanted. 


But for those of us who didn't get involved in their mess we ended up maturing into very different adults. We see a crackhead, a homeless person, a drug addict, a prostitute or other "undesirables" very differently. There's something to be said about the kids that do make it through college. Their perspective on poverty and class ethics is invaluable to society. But these perspectives still need education and training in humanities to mature. I don't think people with these characteristics just pop up on their own once they "make it out". It's part of the reason if anything I think some college should be part of a persons life when coming from these situations. Otherwise they may turn out financially secure but with a very "fuck you got mine" mentality about the world or even hating those who were once just like them. It's something to consider as the future for these kids becomes increasingly uncertain.

Is college worthless to the kid in poverty?

I won't talk about my portfolio again today. It took a smack in the face with S&P cutting its outlook for the US. I'm actually considering some form of entrepreneurship as well. I have some ideas for some websites that are dire need in the science but nothing concrete yet. I also would need to fund it and find someone to help me build it next winter which won't happen easily. It's all still in the air for right now, I wish I had a solid plan on that end. Oh well, the time is now to buy up what I can I guess.

I've also started to  notice that there seems to be a large body of news noting college degrees are becoming less and less valuable.I'll chime in and agree, sort of. Having a BS, BA, MS or PhD nowadays really doesn't help much if it all in some industries. You do in fact take in massive amounts of debt and end up unemployed or being paid $30,000 with a PhD in many cases. Many of my friends are self educated and learned some programming languages while working right out of high school for the same amount of time I've been in college. They now make $98,000 a year and work 3-4 hours a week for a few internet companies. I chose to go into the sciences as a passion and ended up broke and trying to make myself somewhat financially secure for life now.

You might say that for someone from the inner city I've failed miserably. I'm broke and will likely be broke for my entire life. I will likely never be financially secure because I went and took the route for higher education. Now of course the data says the average income increases with a degree and it does open more opportunities and makes you more likely as a hire. However you do have no real world on the ground job experience and are worthless to employers in that sense. So to a kid in the hood who hears everyday how much money he can make just getting through high school is going to blow off college as many do. Especially when the risk of going to college means returning to somewhere like North Philly and staying there for the rest of your life completely surrounded by the problems in the area. What's worse you'll have no income or influence to an extent that you can make a difference.

However, there's one thing missing in this logic. See, college has this thing they call a core curriculum where people like me learn American Economic politics, Criminal justice, Art, Gender studies, etc. Things that you won't learn in an inner city public school. It's almost as if you're blinded in the inner city and never have the chance to have professionally designed exposure to philosophy and how the world works. Most people there don't know what the stock market is, how it works why it matters. Most don't know how anything in this world works at all. College core curricula help fill in the gaps for students from low income neighborhoods that were in classrooms completely counterproductive to learning. If they don't get these you end up with the masses of easily manipulated people that have no idea how their city and state government works.

Even worse is the lack of understanding in the sciences , most of it to them is "magic". Then you have uneducated masses voting on issues that they don't even slightly understand. That is where I think a college education is valuable to these students in leadership building and knowledge building. It's much harder to have someone fall prey to marketing tactics if they learned about them in college. Likewise with political scams on the local government level. I still know people that don't know what a bank does with their money and what their rights are for it. Others get their checks cashed at check cashing places because they're "trustworthy" and won't charge them as much as a bank to get their check cashed they think. What about the "santerias" or pretty much witchcraft stores in Hispanic neighborhoods that sell things like mercury illegally as a dietary aid. People don't know mercury is harmful they don't understand the concepts of a slowly developing poison.What about those that don't understand how taxation in the city works and fall victim to political games intentionally designed to fool them?

Is this the responsibility of high schools?  I'd love to say yes but there isn't nearly enough time nor as I stated in previous posts the environment or resources to have this education out there for students.Some college core education is critical to break the cycle of poverty. However as can be seen by my attempts to earn income elsewhere it is not a financial security system. It only increases the chance that you will be financially secure although that statement is becoming less true every year. As costs of college go up the barrier to low income students rises and so does their exposure to criticism of the world they live in.

Ghetto culture is anticulture

I just had an argument with a friend about how "gangster" culture is harmless. Every single time someone comes up with that excuse I think about a few things. A few years ago I remember talking to my nephews and finding out most of them had dreams of dropping out and becoming rappers. They had little to no interest in school because of the world they saw on MTV and BET. They bought that shit and ate it up. To an outsider it's hard to understand how fast one music video can change things for everyone in the "hood". But the effects are pretty drastic on the culture. Take "weezy" for example, once he became popular there were clones of him everywhere in North Philadelphia. They even tattooed themselves the same way he was tattooed.

I had friends that bought the clothing they saw in music videos the week they came out. Their language changed, the words they used changed. They were puppets to whomever was controlling the media on the television and music industry. Whatever culture or word was fabricated by the TV or radio was their world. This is far different from other ways of developing as a child. In other places books, comic books, affluent parents and great schooling provide counterweights to any lure from the TV. In North Philly you had the supermarket magazines and the corner store. The internet wasn't that popular either because it was still a baby back then. Interestingly enough though many places in "the hood" got DSL/Cable before the suburbs did because it was so close to the data centers in the center of the city. It's just not many people knew what the hell the internet was or how to use it. It was considered "one of those white people things" and thus not very useful. Except of course for the one smart guy that bought a bunch of blank CDs and downloaded napster songs or whatever movies he could for $5.

Of course I'm overgeneralizing the situation here. There are obviously people out there with good parents that knew about books and other things to counter any advances by a media monster bent on controlling these people. But in general most of these kids are just cogs in this machine. They're slaves spoonfed this culture into their brains by peers and media to keep them uneducated and in the hood. Wouldn't want those brown people thinking after all, that's too dangerous. Go into a church in "the hood" and see who's sponsoring the church and what messages the church is spreading.

But then so what? So what if a bunch of people think the world really is like the music videos they put on TV? R&B is far less crazy and has positive messages from various artists so what's the harm? Well the harm is people take that sort of thing seriously.and reinforce the violent mentality they see around them with music and television. The result is a young adult with a mind that thinks everyone out in the world must be punished very violently and they must instill fear in others or they're worthless to society. They're weak and pathetic to everyone around them. When was the last time you've seen someone in "hip hop" culture that's openly gay? What about the rappers whose career rides on their time in "the hood", when have they ever shown any emotional weakness?. What could possibly be wrong with having that mentality?

The worst case I ever saw personally was with an argument between four people. One guy stole the others cell phone and got caught. So now you had four guys staring at each other each backing their friend. However ghetto culture tells you not to call the cops, "no snitchin" you see it in hip hop comedy and music too. So of course these enterprising young gentlemen take the situation into their own hands. I woke up at 4am at a huge orange glow in the center of the street and lots of screaming. It turns out they had stabbed the two thieves 238 times and put them in their car outside and set it on fire with them still alive inside. The neighbors tried to put the flames out on one of the passengers in the car with hoses, ineffective. The other was burned to a crisp inside, clearly dead and ignored for the time being. As I saw this man rolling around on the street on fire  my mom was going nuts thinking it was my dad. It was the same model car as him so I had to actually go up and check that it wasn't my dad rolling around on the floor on fire for her own mental secuity. It's one of the more... interesting... things I've had to do. I told the neighbors to cover him with a wet towel if they could instead to put out the flames. Thankfully that worked and a few minutes later the place was swarming with police and fire department crews.

POLICE FIND 1 DEAD, 1 HURT INSIDE A BURNING VEHICLE Police found the severely burned body of one man and another man suffering from stab wounds inside a blazing four-wheel drive vehicle in Hunting Park yesterday. Officers and firefighters responding to a call found a black 1986 Chevrolet Blazer engulfed in flames at 4:21 a.m. in the redacted block of North Marshall Street. Inside were the dead man and the second, badly burned man,

The news stories always run these things in such an "exciting" tone. At the time I didn't actually know why those random men were on fire in front of my house. I didn't know why anyone would want to do that to someone I didn't even recognize. I took a criminal justice class for undergraduate for kicks and found out my professor used to work as an assistant to the DA in the city. He started talking about a car on fire with two people stabbed inside and I stopped him to ask if it happened to be in 1998 on my particular street. Ended up being the case, he explained that when the case went to trial the two guys who put them in there were confused as hell that the guy survived being burned and stabbed in a car. It was a fairly quick case for the jury because it was all over a goddamned phone. No, unlike civilized people you can't be a snitch or a little bitch about it. Of course not the reinforcement to the culture doesn't allow you that flexibility. Now of course people will go "not everyone is bad stop generalizing X point". But it doesn't matter what point I'm generalizing, the fact of the matter is there's something, anything reinforcing these behaviors and that is enough to cause an issue.

Going to school in the warzone.

My account broke even last week so I won't even bother with it for now. Google's profit loss hit me in the gut and screwed me up for the week.

I remember what middle and high school were like in North Philly. It was an experience to say the least and something you wouldn't want to go through. Once you walked up the staircase to the front of the school you were greeted by a metal detector, bag check and armed security. They were checking for weapons before you entered the pen with the other animals.

The teacher would stand up front and lecture and you'd have two out of 37 actually paying attention. The rest sat around on their cell phones or talking to each other. Sometimes you'd pass dime bags around the back of the class or something equally stimulating. Other times there would be intellectual discussions about what rapper was richer, badder and generally better than the other. Sometimes rap battles would break out in the back while everything went on. The teachers were powerless over those students, too many to handle and too many to bother. They also still had a job to do so they kept teaching. I guess they hoped the trouble makers would allow the ones actually paying attention to do something. Which they did when they were preoccupied in the back with other things. Most of them were just waiting for the day to drop out, they had no interest in being there.

I remember seeing what schools were supposed to look and feel like on TV. I remember seeing movies and going, hell that's not my school at all. I was told by my peers that those are just "white people schools" full of pussies anyway. The thought lingered though, especially since I was one of those actually paying attention to my teachers and trying. I remember seeing teachers come in and going "this isn't going to work out, sorry guys" and walking out on us mid class. I always wondered if kids in suburban schools had that happen. I remember our lunch hour too, I wondered what the food was like at other schools and if lunch was as tense as it was here.

Lunch was one of the more tense hours of the day. Our lunch hall had 6-8 security guards standing watch as we got our lunch and sat down. Blacks would sit with blacks, Puerto Ricans with Puerto Ricans and Dominicans with Dominicans. Crossing ethnic barriers was a bit tricky. It was tolerated if you were friends, but don't you dare try and talk to someone across ethnic barriers without already knowing them. One of my friends learned the consequences of it very early on and paid very dearly for it.

He was a shorter kid, half black half Puerto Rican. He also had a crush on this black girl who sat on the "black" side of the lunch hall. I kept telling him everyday "you better leave that shit alone you don't know the kind of shit you'll get into man". I told him to at the very least get her number in class and meet her outside of school. Of course as usual in life no one ever listens to me and he brazenly went off to setup his little date by going to the "black" table and talking to her and her friends. At first everything was alright he was pretty happy and no one seemed to notice at the time he had talked to her. However most "hits" that are setup in high school are never carried out in the school. The swarm of security around you ensures that you're not getting hit there. Not to mention they scan us for weapons so we're much safer than normal. But you have to go home, you have to get on that SEPTA bus to your house. You're also by yourself and who knows, accidents happen on the way there.

The next day he was bragging the entire time in class about how much pussy he was going to get and how I was worrying too much. I needed to stop being a little bitch I was told. I had gotten a ride home that day and was comfortably at home playing the original Halo. Thus I was in my "zone" and not to be bothered and turned off my phone. At about 6pm I heard frantic banging on my door. It was my friend, he had been chased his entire way home from school by 6 black guys saying they didn't want a "Goya ass motherfucker" touching their girls. They'd set a dog on him and he had his leg littered in puncture wounds and gashes to his skin. He asked me for some hydrogen peroxide for the wounds and I kept staring at him like was crazy. My parents were out doing the groceries so I was left to tend to him on my own. I rushed him inside and shut my lights off and closed my blinds. Last thing I needed was them coming into my house because of him.

I sat him on our metal chair we use for sitting outside because I thought the blood stains wouldn't stick. I took a look at his leg and started dabbing his wounds with gauze and alcohol. He told me they dragged him by the neck as soon as he got off the bus and started beating him. Then everyone just took turns using everything they could to hurt him as best they could. As he bitched about the sting of the alcohol I kept noticing the blood didn't stop flowing. I told him he needed to go to the hospital and he just kept replying "naw, fuck that, fuck that, that's pussy shit". Then I saw a spot on his shirt just get redder and grow in size. I lifted it and noticed he had been stabbed a few times and a 2inch piece of his flesh had been cut off the side of his stomach.  At that point I punched him in the face for being a dumbass and called 911. I rode the whole ride to the hospital with him. The doctors said they were amazed he walked for so long while losing that much blood.

Two weeks later someone shot the girl he was interested in. She had been walking to the corner store when a shooting broke out. After that, I never saw him so damned silent. Luckily most of the bigger Puerto Rican seniors started to look out for him after that. They took pity on him for having that misfortune. My parents started to pick him up and take him home when they found out. He dropped out about a year later and disappeared into the streets. I haven't heard from him since. This is why when I say a support network needs to exist I mean it. That kid found a refuge in my home, he needed a refuge he could stay in and a school he could take refuge in. I hope one day I make enough money to make that happen.

Another story from Hunting Park.

Looks like a solid gain today, highest since I opened the account. I'm looking at a one day profit $3.98 totaling $209.22  Not too shabby.. I might actually turn a profit after broker fees if the trend continues. Right now I'm planning on keeping up with the dollar cost averaging at $100/month. I'll diversify my portfolio a bit from the technology stocks I'm in now and obviously bring in some bonds and ETFs this is just an initial start for my investments.

If you look at the area I used to live it's not hard to see the kind news that comes out of Hunting Park in North Philadelphia. Combine this with the Local newspapers stating that violence hinders education (duh) and you can see why it's hard to get out of the cycle. If you look at their data it seems that at the very least shootings and stabbings in schools are only at 0.2%!  It's actually gotten a bit better since my days but this is still no environment that is poised to produce the future leaders that will turn the city around. However the type of violence has never really changed and the kids that live on my block today still live through what I lived.

When I was a kid I remember quite clearly how quickly a situation outside could go sour. We had a "new guy" which we'll call Robert on my block that liked to pick fights with every single person in the neighborhood. I suppose that was his way of rebelling against his mother during his teenage years and showing the world how fearless and tough he was. I remember at one point he was the "cool" kid and we would all sit on his steps while he barked orders at his girlfriends.

He had two girls that would follow him around and he would command them to be his servants. Sometimes we were out on the steps and he would just go "Bitch, go get me some hugs (corner store drink) for the yung bos on my steps here". Off they would go to get us some drinks and maybe even some chips from the store. He even commanded them to perform sexual favors on the older kids when he demanded it. I don't know if they were attracted to the bad boy image or if something else was at play. But to this day I can't contemplate why normally aggressive and violent girls would take that from the guy. He quickly became every kids dream in the area this guy had women, money from selling drugs and a group of people following him all day. He was a celebrity in his own little world of North Philly. After a while he started carrying a gun to assert his dominance over the older kids on the block. You don't want to fuck with a guy willing to possibly shoot you. So there we were his little followers hanging out in front of his house everyday listening to his "wisdom" about pleasuring girls and "not being a pussy". Sometimes we'd be out at 3am without our parents knowing just hanging out watching movies at his house or something.

One day though, we were out on the corner which most kids tried to stay away from. He told us to just relax for a bit because he had some coke to push. These kids from the suburbs were coming by to pick them up. They were "rich as shit" he said and good customers he was willing to take their orders any time of day. A few hours later of just sitting around talking about nothing and a car pulls up with tinted windows. Robert goes over to talk to the guys inside and then suddenly he collapses onto the floor. He'd been shot in the head and the entire pack of us ran as fast as we could away from the mess. He was on the floor pouring blood from his head and that's the last thing I remember as I made my blind dash for my life. An hour later and there was police tape everywhere, the body had been moved by then. I came back outside and saw the two girls he was always with telling the police what happened. The next day I went to my magnet school in the better part of the city and as my school shuttle van came to pick me up I noticed the pool of blood was still there. In fact it remained there for days. I had never thought of that, I always assumed someone would come and clean the stains off the street. But it had a huge impact on all of us, sure lots of people hated the guy but to see a pool of blood on your way to school is a grim reminder. Concentrating in school was pretty hard, I was preoccupied with other things when I was there. To make things worse a fight broke out in the cafeteria a few weeks later because a group of kids decided to piss on his grave. People who were around him in life were guaranteed to get beaten on the way to school. How I managed to make it through school back then I still don't quite know.